First things first- get dad a jacket to keep warm!!
Coming from Phoenix, he has no jackets warm enough for these temperatures, so we went to the cultural experience of a lifetime and got him some warm gear.
Going to Wal-Mart is like a freeze frame video through every country, language, style and era. You know, I think of myself as looking rather normal, but through this cultural experience, I think that I am the one out of place.
Here is what you need to do to look normal at Wal-Mart:
1- Die your hair purple, orange, blue, and green and spike it like a porky pine.
2- You must have 5 tattoos of old girlfriends all down your arms.
3- Don't brush your teeth.- Oh that is if you have some.
4- Make sure to wear a shirt that is high enough for your belly to show and short enough for your over-stuffed breasts to be close to falling out of the basket.
Last but not least,
5- Wear pants that are well below the edge of the rear and have to be held to your thighs with a sticky belt. -not recommended to be worn with the high shirt!
After our Wal-Mart experience, it was time to head for the GREAT state parks of Utah.
"Dad, if you look at your map," (note my recognition of his desire to look at the map) "I found highway 89 going south out of Provo, UT and think that will give us a great back-roads drive to Bryce Canyon."
He pulled out the map and marked the highway.
"You see those mountains ahead. We are going to follow them all the way down."
In every other state my back roads method has proved to be fantastic. TODAY????
Not so much!!"Dana, I see stop lights for as far as I can see. How many miles do we have to drive?"
With that, he whips out his map and uses a certified measuring tool- his finger- and decides we have 300 miles to go.
With that, he whips out his map and uses a certified measuring tool- his finger- and decides we have 300 miles to go.
"Now, dad, I'm sure this will end and it will open up into the country. Just give it a few more miles."Well, in a few more miles the only place we found ourselves was approaching a dead end in a neighborhood.
Hmm... This doesn't look like a highway!Lucky for us, it was mail time and we stopped to ask the mailman where highway 89 went.
He told us that the name had changed to 300 S and it would change back to 89 after a while. BUT 300 S went left a few blocks back and we missed it. I was actually in the turn lane at that intersection and figured we didn't want to go that way. OOPS!!
U-TURN!!!
"Hey, dad, there's the mountains!"
"Yeah, I can hardly see them behind the 30 McDonalds, 200 gas stations, strip malls, Chinese restaurants, and stop lights.""Oh, it has to open up. City can't go forever."
See, that's better...
It took us 2 hours to get through the city that lasted forever and the entire time, my dad was measuring and re-measuring the distance we had to go, planning and plotting the route we would take, and figuring out where we would stay.
The views got more and more beautiful the further we got...
"Hey, dad, aren't you glad we stayed on this back road. Look at this view!! Picture time!!"
"Hey, dad, aren't you glad we stayed on this back road. Look at this view!! Picture time!!"Then the sun began to set...
After the sun had mostly set, we drove through some open ranch land. There really was nothing around and up ahead on a hill we could see something that looked like a castle. We were far away, so we couldn't tell what it was way out here in the middle of nowhere.
After the sun had mostly set, we drove through some open ranch land. There really was nothing around and up ahead on a hill we could see something that looked like a castle. We were far away, so we couldn't tell what it was way out here in the middle of nowhere.Then, we got to it. It was one of the incredible Temples. These are such incredible sights!!!
Now, we find ourselves planted in the Hotel and it's time to go to sleep. Good night! :)
Now, we find ourselves planted in the Hotel and it's time to go to sleep. Good night! :)
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